The polished oak of the long dining table glows silver, from the
reflection of the chandelier dancing above it. I look at the sharp crystals
hanging from them, struck by warm rays of the evening sun. There is food
everywhere, baskets of bright red apples with bunch of grapes spilling out of it,
a large loaf of bread with chocolate filling, boiled vegetables dipped in a
bowl of hot cheese and wine, lots of sparkling wine. A crackling sound from the
fireplace is the only sound one hears in the hall, the logs burning with an
intense red that fills the place with warmth. I sit there, looking at all the
silverware and pick my knife to cut a piece out of the juicy chicken. As I go
further, there is a knock on my door, a light thud. ‘Who could it be at this
time?’ I wonder. Keeping the silverware back to its place next to my plate, I
stand up to go towards the door. Suddenly there is a sound of whoosh as the curtains
start flapping because of the strong wind. I turn my knob and push the door
wide open, only to be greeted by my companion- depression. And then it hits me.
A surge of unhappiness washes over my body, it starts drizzling outside and
depression stands there with a huge umbrella over his head, smiling at me, “I
hope I can stay for longer this time”. Depression walks past me as I watch, my
tired eyes following him as he takes the seat in the far end of the long table.
“Come dine with me, I’m starving” he points towards my empty seat. I sit down,
the chair feels strangely cold against my bottom, ‘Did the fire in the
fireplace die out?’ I crane my head to check, yes it did. I look at the
chandelier above me, the sharp crystals look like icicles now, ready to fall
any moment and dent the beautiful oak table. The sudden chill in the air is
unbearable, I clasp both of my arms and then my eyes meet my companions’,
sitting right in front of me, in the distance between us are fruits that have
turned rotten, bad smelling cheese, and spilled wine. I gaze into what seems
like an endless void, an abyss looking back at me, ready to hypnotize me and
take me inside. “Now stop looking at me like that” Depression says softly.
Aghast, I slump back into my seat and rest my head on the back, ‘Couldn’t he
see what he was doing to me?’ I thought, yet too tired to protest. I recalled
the many times this had happened before, depression coming unannounced and
wrecking the pretty little house I had built for myself. “You haven’t eaten a
thing” he says as he gulps down an entire bottle of wine and puts a grape in
his mouth. I look at all the tasteless food in front of me and shake my head. “I
heard you lost your job, not very surprising huh?” Depression smirks. I give
him a look of distaste as he continues, “And what about that lover of yours? He
finally left you didn’t he? I told you, you have nobody in this world except me”.
The thought of all the good memories with my lover surface, they fill my body
with an inexpressible joy for a moment only to be again taken away by his next
words. “You’re a loser, I hope you’re aware of that but I am there for you,
unlike all those people and things you attach yourself to” My ears starts
ringing, my head aching and I clutch my chest hard in the hope of squeezing out
the intensifying pain that grows underneath. My mood shifts constantly, from
anger to shame to sadness and to anger again. I look at Depression, feasting
upon me through his words, enjoying every bite of me and licking his red lips. “Your
existence is just a burden to this world” Enough, I smash my fist down on the
table, overcome by anger, yet too tired to run away. Taking my head in my
hands, I let out a wail, the smash had taken all the energy that I had left. “Leave…
leave… me alone” I sob like a child, a puddle of tears on the plate now. Depression
looks at me with pity in his eyes, then slowly laughs at my helplessness. I
observe his face through the wet film that has formed in my eyes. There is
something very magnetic about his personality, it draws you inside. I’ve always
wanted to understand this mysterious person in front of me yet giving in to
those desires never brought me any good, it put me in a dark alley, one where I often
lost myself. In many instances, trying to understand depression made him stay
longer in my house, and the longer he stays, the darker it gets until it’s just
a series of dark days with no sun in sight. I wipe my tears off and muster the
energy to move, slowly taking one step at a time to the direction of my
bedroom. Depression calls out to me, “Come back, you need me, I’ll tell you who
you are, I’ll answer all your questions, there is nobody who knows you better
than me” Yet I don’t look back and keep going until I finally fall into my bed
and go to sleep, praying that my guest will be gone by tomorrow. In between my
broken sleep, I wake up to hear Depression singing to itself, his mellow voice
echoes the entire house, I shut my eyes again.
The sun shines brightly on my face as I wake up the following day.
Rushing into the dining hall, I find it empty, the fire comes back to life and a
fresh smell of cheese fills the room. I look outside and see children running
around, a carriage driven by horses passes by and the newspaper man gets off
his bicycle to deliver the morning’s papers to me, shouting out a ‘good day’. I
give him a smile, happy and relieved that my companion has left for now. 