All eyes on me (a poem about social anxiety)

‘Behold, here she comes!’
The drum rolls,
The curtain falls, 
Snickers, guffaws, and pointing fingers,
Sounds from the crowd in my ears linger,
Explodes, a place in my mind somewhere,
Into fragments of shame and fear,
Can’t look up,
too ashamed to see, but feel-
All eyes on me

Frozen now, where to look?
How to move?
What to do?
Cross my hands, no!
Cross my ankles, no-no! ,
Finally, uncross my ankles, but-
Oh-no! was that too fast of a change?
Too abnormal and inhuman of a change?
Smile a bit, oops! maybe too much,
Straight face- no! too rude,
What to do? , what to do? ,
Mind is blank, and the tongue is tied,
Why does this happen all the time?
But they, they continue to torment me,
All eyes on me

Naked, on display now,
Under the probing eyes of the crowd,
Mind screams, ‘You don’t belong here!’ but,
Hush! they are watching now,
They feel your fear,
They see your fright,
They read your mind,
They judge your life,
Dejected, I come back home,
Exhausted, I can’t take no more

After a lot of convincing,
I again venture in the light,
Surrounded by people minding their life,
But inside, again their eyes’ on me,
All eyes on me